


Save it for me

by lilraven



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: F/F, by muses i mean two (2) goddesses i love beyond words, everything from angst to fluff to smut, i go where the muses take me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-05-18
Packaged: 2019-03-08 08:10:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 8,118
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13454064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilraven/pseuds/lilraven
Summary: "-- because I crave it, crave your poetry."A collection of vanity one shots based on poems, starting off with Sappho (because who else, really?)





	1. No pain bid you sing (if not, winter)

She feels dead on her feet. She stretches her aching neck, stopping halfway through the dark pub, checking to make sure she’s locked everything up. There’s a pounding in her head that’s been beating at her temples since early in the afternoon, and all she can think is she can’t have another sleepless night. So she turns around and slips out of the pub on legs that feel they might give any second.

 

The village is silent as a parish as she traipses down the slippery street, her aching feet taking measured steps on the icy road. She stops underneath a street lamp to reassess her plan, which to be honest isn’t so much of a plan as it is a hope. She just needs warmth after the nightmare of a week she’s had, with Joe Tate doing his worst to ruin everything she holds dear. She stands under the warm yellow light and stares up at Tug Ghyll, hoping against hope that she’ll see a light in the downstairs window. She knows Vanessa would never be up this late unless she’s out on a call, but Charity supposes she’s already made up her mind on this particular mistake.

 

She looks up to the golden halo above her just as a lazy trail of snowflakes begins to stream down on her already freezing face. She huffs out a half-amused laugh and sets back on her way towards what she assumes won’t be a much warmer welcome.

 

She knocks on the door softly, for all her trespasses at least trying to make sure she doesn’t wake Johnny. A surge of guilt goes through her when she thinks of Johnny, and if Joe Tate were to ever know where she comes when she needs to run away. But she’s made sure it’s only in the hours of dead night when she comes to Tug Ghyll, her trail erased by the fresh snow of early morning.

 

After the second knock, she presses her ear to the door and hears the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. She sags against the door for a moment, closing her eyes on tears of relief that she quickly wipes away when she hears the lock turn. The door drags open on a creak that makes Charity cringe, but her frown is soon soothed by the sight in front of her. Vanessa stands there in the darkness of the hall, rubbing her eyes and shivering a bit against the gale she’s letting in.

  
“Charity?”

 

Her voice comes out a croaked whisper, sending another pang of guilt through Charity’s veins. She looks at Vanessa, so tiny in the doorway with her flannel pajamas and mussed hair piled into a bun on the top of her head, staring back at her with eyes filled with unasked questions. Charity almost turns away then, resolute to go home and apologize in the morning for waking Ness up at this hour. She’ll come up with some excuse, she always does. But then Vanessa, sweet darling Vanessa, who somehow always knows what to do, takes her hand and pulls her inside, safe from the harsh wind and snowfall that’s started coming down in sheets of ice.

 

The door clicks closed behind them, and they are engulfed in darkness, and Charity thinks she should surely say something. But she’s so tired, and Vanessa has let go of her hand to unzip her coat and slide it off her, pressing her warm body against Charity’s, her lips grazing Charity’s cheek softly. She lets the coat drop to the ground, and takes Charity’s hand back in hers, guiding her up the stairs without a word.

 

Her hair is still wet with melting snow, her hands shivering as Vanessa steers them into her bedroom, tugging Charity into bed with a coy smile. Her lips find Charity’s in a kiss that’s so slow and tender that Charity almost pulls back, because it’s too much, too good, too perfect. But Vanessa’s hands on her back are sure, steadfast, and Charity can’t stop her. Not when she does that thing with her hips, rolling against Charity, breathing a wanton sigh against her ear. She’s never been this slow, this gentle, and Charity knows they’re lunging into dangerous territory, but suddenly the only thing she can do is guide Vanessa’s lips back to hers in a kiss that’s so tender and languid that time might as well have stopped.

 

“Are you all right?”

 

Vanessa has pulled back, gazing down at Charity, whose traitorous eyes are shining with tears, and she hates herself for not being able to hide as she does with everyone else. She shakes her head and looks away. Vanessa’s hand presses on her cheek, bringing her reluctant eyes back to meet hers. Vanessa looks at her a moment, and seems to find something hidden in her gaze that Charity herself doesn’t know is there.

 

“You don’t have to talk about it, we can just – you know. Or we can just sleep.”

 

If Charity had thought she could make it through this without breaking down before, now she’s completely gone. Tears spill from her eyes, and she pulls Vanessa into a kiss, because she knows she can’t hide, she can’t run away from this because she’s left all the evidence sprinkled around in Vanessa’s memory. And maybe, just maybe she doesn’t want to run anymore.

 

Vanessa’s kisses are soft, moving from her lips to her face, kissing away hot tears that tread down Charity’s cheeks. She slowly returns to Charity’s lips, her hands making slow patterns down Charity’s back until her tears stop falling, and she pulls back to catch her breath. Charity looks up to meet watery blue, and tries to come up with something witty, anything that’ll defuse the emotions screaming in both their eyes. What comes out instead is a soft, pleading whisper.

 

“Can you just hold me?”

 

Vanessa bites her bottom lip, eyes shining with tears that match Charity’s own. She trails a hand down Charity’s cheek, and presses one more kiss on her lips before rolling them over, her warm body resting against Charity’s back. Vanessa’s arms slip around her waist, and she pulls Charity closer into her embrace. A small smile sneaks its way onto Charity’s face, and for just a moment she dares to think this all feels an awful lot like home.


	2. Happiest on your hands, feet to the stars

If anyone should ask, which they surely won’t, Charity still maintains that this early morning outing with the family is not one of Vanessa’s most ingenious ideas. Leaning on the front door of Tug Ghyll, her eyes are still groggy with sleep, her limbs heavy as she stifles a yawn against the back of her hand. She shuffles Moses around in front of her, making sure he’s still wearing both gloves and his beanie before wiggling her fingers at him to take her hand. Moses grabs her hand with a gleeful smile, and she beams back at him, swinging their linked hands between them. With a quick wink, Charity rolls her eyes at Vanessa, who’s been fussing about the house since heaven knows how early. Moses lets out a high-pitched chortle, only to get interrupted by Vanessa’s voice coming from the floor behind him.

 

“Got everything?”

 

“Moses, blanket, the withering hope that I don’t freeze to death,” Charity’s drawls, counting down on her fingers, “Yeah, I think we’re all set.”

 

Vanessa squints up at her from the floor, where she’s finally gotten Johnny tucked into his overalls and little boots, her smile radiating with intensity that somehow still manages to make Charity’s heartbeat quicken. Pulling a beanie over Johnny’s head, Vanessa gets up and takes his mitten-clad hand in one hand, and the little basket she’s packed for them in the other.

 

“Shall we?”

 

Charity just smiles, and guides her little family out into the crisp autumn air.

 

The sun rising over the dales isn’t as warm as she might like, but Charity can’t really bring herself to care. Not when a bouncing Moses is tugging at her hand, whining at her to go faster as they walk behind an equally enthusiastic Johnny dragging Vanessa along up the hill towards their favourite spot under a rusty old oak tree. The September morning isn’t really ideal for a picnic, but it’s Johnny’s fourth birthday, so Charity grudgingly relented to spending a few hours up in the windswept fields. There wasn’t much she could do to resist the Woodfield charm, especially when the both of them looked up at her with big round eyes, even Moses chiming in with their pleading last night at dinner.

 

When they reach the top of the hill, Charity watches Vanessa turn back towards them with a wink, and on cue they both let go of Johnny and Moses’ hands, their little golden-haired boys tumbling into a pile of leaves the moment they get a chance. A heap of gold and scarlet leaves is sent flying into the air as they play, and for a moment Charity just stands there with what must be the dumbest, happiest smile on her face. She feels Vanessa wrap an arm around her, and turns to press a kiss on the edge of her bobble hat.

 

“Told you this would be worth it.”

 

Charity hums out a noncommittal sound, nestling closer to Vanessa against the cold wind.

 

“What would really be worth it is getting my damn morning coffee.”

 

She can practically feel Vanessa roll her eyes, but in a moment warm lips connect with her cheek, and she knows her relentless grumpiness is forgiven. Vanessa mumbles something about a thermos, and pulls the blanket from under Charity’s arm to start setting up their breakfast. Without missing a beat, Charity grabs the other end of the blanket and they smooth it out on the ground, making quick work of setting out the few things Vanessa’s packed for them. Settling beside Vanessa on the cold ground, Charity pours them both a cup of coffee, watching the steam rise from their tiny travel mugs, huddling as close to Vanessa as she can physically get.

  
“It’s bloody freezing.”

 

Vanessa’s elbow jabs at Charity’s side, and she lets out a squeak that gets muffled by a quick peck on her lips.

 

“It’s nice.”

 

Charity shakes her head in disbelief, and after a second she feels Vanessa shudder against her as she sips on her coffee.

  
“You’re right, it’s bloody freezing.”

 

A chuckle bubbles up from Charity’s chest, and she tugs Vanessa in for a kiss that tastes of strong coffee and early morning frost.

 

“Ewww, mums!”

 

The boys’ singsong declaration drags them apart, and Charity makes a face, wrapping Johnny up in a hug, pressing kisses all over his face until he melts into a fit of giggles.

 

“Momma! Momma, stop it, I want cake.”

 

Charity presses one last kiss on his forehead, and he settles between her and Moses, both of the boys staring up at her with eyes wider than saucers.

 

“I think you agreed with mum that you can have cake once you’ve eaten your sandwich, yeah?”

 

The frown on Johnny’s face makes it almost impossible not to laugh, but Charity composes herself and helps Vanessa pass around the sandwiches, which are gulped down in a matter of seconds by the hungry boys.

 

After what Vanessa deems an unhealthy amount of cake on all their parts, including Charity, the boys are back on their feet, gone before either of them has time to stop them. Charity just shrugs at Vanessa, stretching out on the blanket for a much deserved post-cake nap. She lets her eyes drift shut on the sound of their little rascals sprinting about, roaring with laughter.

 

Approaching the verge of slumber, Charity is suddenly yanked back to reality by Vanessa’s voice that’s bellowing a few feet away from her.

 

“Johnny! Johnny Woodfield, get your bottom down here right now!”

Charity’s eyes slam open and she follows Vanessa’s gaze up the oak tree, only to find Johnny clambering up faster than she thinks he’s ever moved on the ground. He’s far too quick, and far too high up to not make her heart lurch into her throat. She finds her voice a second later, trying for a more commanding tone than Vanessa’s high-pitched shriek.

 

“Johnny, you’d better listen to your mother, this isn’t a joke. Get down from there!”

 

But he climbs higher, bursts of laughter leaving his lips as Vanessa stares on in horror. Charity stumbles up from the blanket, and reaches Vanessa’s side just as she lets out a gasp, watching Johnny’s foot slip on the branch he’s trying to reach. In a split second, Johnny looks down and the giggles die on his lips, turning into a panic stricken cry. Tears stream down his face, and for a moment both Vanessa and Charity stand frozen beneath the huge tree. Charity takes one look at Vanessa, whose eyes are glazed with fear, and swallows the lump in her throat. She ignores the pounding in her chest, spurred into action by Johnny’s voice that is going hoarse from wailing. Before she knows it, she’s at the foot of the tree, trying to find a foothold on the huge trunk, her eyes never leaving the little boy perched on a branch that looks far too wobbly.

 

“Johnny, love, stay still for me, okay? Hold on tight, I’m coming to get ya.”

 

“Momma, I’m too high!”

 

“Baby I know, just stay right there, I’m coming.”

 

She doesn’t know what force of will hauls her up the tree, but in what must be seconds and feels agonisingly like forever, she’s up on the branch right beside Johnny’s. The little boy is shaking, and for a moment the panic comes roaring back, because how on earth is she meant to get them both down from here?

 

“Hey, little guy. Everything’s all right.”

 

It takes a moment for her to disentangle Johnny’s death grip from the branch, but finally she manages to move him into her lap. Johnny’s arms clamp around her neck, and she presses a soft kiss on his temple, lifting his legs to wrap around her waist.

 

“Hold on, love.”

 

Johnny nods against her neck, and she starts climbing down slowly, measuring each movement, her heartbeat raging in her ears. When she finally touches the ground, her legs are about to give out, but then Vanessa is there, holding them both steady in her arms. Charity slides down the trunk of the tree, and Moses comes crashing into the three of them at the foot of the tree. For a moment the four of them just rest there in a huddle, and Charity feels like she can finally breathe again. When her heartbeat finally calms down, she lets out a breathy chuckle, barely trusting her voice.

 

“I think that’s about enough adventure for today, you two.”

 

She gives both the boys a tickle, managing an almost lighthearted giggle. But when her eyes meet Vanessa’s over their heads, she pauses. The knowing look they share goes unnoticed by the two boys already busy fumbling down back towards home. Vanessa swallows hard, and Charity knows she’s not the only one still trying to tone down the panic that surged through her veins just minutes before.

 

“He’s okay Ness, everything’s okay.”

 

Vanessa just nods, blinking away the tears in her eyes on a gulp. Vanessa still looks so scared, so frail, like she might fall to pieces any second, and Charity’s heart breaks a little in her chest. She takes Vanessa’s hand, pressing a quick kiss on her palm as she guides her after Johnny and Moses who are already back to sprinting around, blissfully unaware of the nightmare scenario running in their mothers’ heads. Squeezing Vanessa’s hand softly, she trails down the hill, catching up to the boys who link hands with them, and the four of them make their way back home.

 

Hours later, when Moses and Johnny have been put down for their afternoon nap, Tug Ghyll grows quiet. Charity settles on the couch with her crossword, beckoning Vanessa to come snuggle up with her. Vanessa drags her feet over, and lets herself be gathered up in Charity’s warm arms. Once she’s settled against Charity, Vanessa lets out a shuddering breath and breaks down, sobbing quietly into Charity’s neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest, this is a birthday gift to myself. I love this little family to bits.


	3. Don’t go out in the grass with bare feet (my yard is full of shards)

A warm sliver of sunlight creeps into the room, slowly dragging Charity to the edge of consciousness. The harsh light hits her square in the face, and she groans deep in her throat, trying to roll over in the bed, not ready to face the day just yet. Only she can’t move. A tiny, warm body is pressed against her front, and her arm is trapped underneath it. She hums softly into golden hair, and presses a kiss at the nape of Vanessa’s neck, wrapping her free arm around the tiny woman and pulling her closer. Her lips graze Vanessa’s ear, and she makes her raspy voice as soft as she can.

 

“Ness, babe. I can’t feel my arm.”

 

Vanessa mumbles something in her sleep and takes Charity’s hand in hers, and it would truly be the most adorable thing in the world if Charity wasn’t afraid they might have to amputate her right arm if Vanessa doesn’t move soon. She tries tugging her arm from under the woman, but that just makes Vanessa huff in protest and squirm closer.

 

“I knew all you’d be is trouble,” Charity’s voice is barely a whisper, and she kisses Vanessa’s ear, slowly kissing her way down along the back of her neck, as far as her trapped state will allow her.

 

She's rewarded with a soft sigh, as Vanessa begins to stir against her. Vanessa rolls her shoulders back, and a pleased moan comes floating from her lips before she turns around in Charity’s arms, a dopey smile on her face as she leans in for a kiss.

 

“Good morning.”

 

“Morning,” Charity mumbles against Vanessa’s lips, “please give my arm back, I think it might be permanently damaged.”

 

Vanessa lets out a laugh and leans over Charity, rolling herself up to straddle her. She runs her fingers through her hair and flicks it over one shoulder, and for a moment Charity can’t drag her eyes away from the way the early morning sunlight catches in her golden hair. Blinking herself back to reality, Charity sinks her fingers into the tempting gold, and pulls Vanessa down for a kiss that makes her head spin.

 

They roll around in the bed, and Charity presses herself down between Vanessa’s legs, eliciting a moan from the lips suddenly still against her own. Vanessa’s eyes slam open when Charity drags her hand down her body, fingers splayed on the fabric of her night shorts. Charity’s eyes never leave Vanessa’s as she slips her hand beneath the waistband, her fingers moving teasingly slow on burning skin. Vanessa’s hips lift from the bed, trying to bring Charity’s hand where she wants it, but Charity’s too quick, her fingers retracting just enough to make Vanessa groan in frustration.

  
“Patience is a virtue, darling.”

 

Charity’s voice is soft as honey as she smirks down at Vanessa, who looks like she might burst into tears from want. Charity’s smile widens, and she keeps teasing Vanessa, whispering for her to wait just a little bit longer, her fingers never quite reaching where Vanessa needs them most.

“Charity –“

 

She doesn’t think her name has ever sounded as good as it does now, spilling from Vanessa’s pink lips on a guttural moan. But she can’t help but play with her, just a little bit.

 

“What do we say?”

 

“Charity, I – “

 

“You know what to say, Vanessa. Ask nicely.”

 

Vanessa’s hips buck beneath her again, and Charity lets out a low chuckle, “Nu-uh, babe it’s just a word, you can do it. One word.”

 

 

Charity’s fingers trace a slow circle just above where Vanessa needs her, and she feels the woman’s resolve melt to nothing as she quivers under Charity’s touch.

 

“Please.”

 

“Good girl.”

 

When Charity finally sinks her fingers into Vanessa, she shudders violently, pulling Charity down against her in a sloppy kiss. It doesn’t take long then. When Vanessa comes, she bites down on Charity’s shoulder, her thighs clenching around Charity’s waist like a vise. Charity brings her down slowly, her fingers moving lazily back and forth, listening to Vanessa’s ragged breath slowly calming down.

 

What must be half an hour later or more, they've barely moved, their limbs still tangled up and Vanessa’s lips resting against Charity’s neck. Her breath is warm against Charity’s skin, and it feels surprisingly nice. Holding Vanessa like this doesn't feel suffocating, like she'd thought it might. It doesn't feel wrong. Charity thinks she might like for this to last, at least for a bit. Her mind wanders back to Vanessa’s words from last night, her hand stroking lazily down Vanessa’s bare back.

 

“Listen Ness, about tonight,” she doesn’t want this to be a problem, but her voice sounds strained even in her own ears.

 

“Mmhm?”

 

“Look, I need —“

 

Vanessa pushes up on her elbows, a frown knitting between her eyebrows as she squints down at Charity, her hair mussed from their little morning detour.

 

“Are you backing out? Now?”

 

“No! No, I just — If  Joe Tate shows up, we call it quits for the night, okay?”

 

The crease between Vanessa’s eyebrows deepens, and her head snaps back in surprise.

 

“What’s Joseph Tate got to do with anything?”

 

Charity lets out a sigh, taking Vanessa by the arms and gently pulling her back down against herself, her hands resting on the small of Vanessa’s back, fingers fidgeting against her skin.

 

“Long story short, we have a bit of history – well his dad and I do – and as a result he wants to make my life a living hell. He’s already got Debs all messed up, and apparently he’s going for Noah next.”

 

Vanessa shoots up again, her eyes suddenly alight, searching Charity’s for reassurance.

 

“He wouldn’t hurt Noah? He’s just a kid.”

 

“Look, I – I don’t know. All I know is I’ve got my hands full worrying about Noah and Debs, and I don’t need you, or god forbid Johnny, mixed up in any of it. So if Joe turns up, I don’t exist to you, okay?”

 

Charity can see the moment when realisation hits, and she thanks whatever power it is that rules the universe for giving Vanessa more of a survival instinct than she herself ever possessed. The lines on Vanessa’s face slowly melt into a smile, and she nods, relaxing back against Charity’s chest. Her fingers reach out to play with a lock of Charity’s hair, and she can almost hear the question bouncing around in Vanessa’s head before it’s whispered against her neck.

 

“Will you tell me some day? About what happened with Chris Tate?”

 

“Some day,” Charity presses a kiss on Vanessa’s forehead, hoping that her next words are true, “some day, when this is all a shadow in the past.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well this was 100% not meant to be smut, but here we are. I really wanted to have Charity be iffy about being out in public because of Joe, and then my mind went places. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!


	4. This is not temporary (this is an odyssey)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extreme fluff warning on this one! xx

It’s just another early morning at Tug Ghyll, when Charity realizes that something has been bugging her. She yawns out loud, stretching out her arms languidly as she sits on the couch, enjoying her second coffee of the morning. The knowledge that she won’t be needed at the pub for another hour has put a smug smile on her face, watching Vanessa scramble around for her things, cursing under her breath when her sleeve gets stuck on a door handle.

 

“Babe calm down, you’re gonna pull a muscle if you keep that up.”

  
“Shut it, Charity. This is all your fault, I wouldn’t be late if you weren’t so damn insatiable. At seven in the morning!”

 

“You wouldn’t have it any other way.”

 

Vanessa just sighs in resignation and Charity rolls her eyes, absentmindedly handing Vanessa her phone from its hiding place between the cushions.

 

“Thank you.”

 

“Mmhmm.”

 

Vanessa presses a quick kiss on her lips, her hand brushing against Charity’s cheek, and darts out the door. Charity sits there for a moment, staring after Vanessa, trying to figure out why something feels off. Her eyes drop to the ring on her left hand, and it hits her like a ton of bricks. The hand against her cheek did not have a ring to match Charity’s. That can’t be right.

 

The feeling sits at the pit of her stomach for the rest of the day, and she decides that this needs to be remedied immediately. So she tells Debbie they’re going to town the next day, and asks Chas if they can close the pub for a few hours the following night. At first Chas looks at her like she’s gone mad, and sputters out an indignant ‘excuse me?’ But she’s quick to relent after Charity reveals her plan. Chas’ eyes shine with pride, and she chuckles at Charity, mumbling something about her really going soft, dodging the punch Charity aims at her arm. It’s not that she’s gone soft. It’s just that Vanessa deserves the sun and stars.

  

* * *

 

 

Charity’s been jumpy all day, not really knowing why. She shouldn’t be nervous at all, it’s not like Vanessa would say no. They’re already engaged. There’s literally no reason Charity should be sat outside the Woolpack fidgeting with the tiny satin box in her hands, her heartbeat raging in her ears. But she is. She’s sent a text to Vanessa, a little white lie about having to cover for Chas, asking her to come keep her company at the pub when she gets off work. The afternoon sun catches the diamond on her left hand, and she nods to no one in particular, knowing no matter how dorky it is, this is a good idea. Vanessa may have beaten her to it, but god be damned if she doesn’t get to surprise Vanessa as well.

 

It makes her smile now, the way Vanessa cupped her face that night, grinning into the kiss before whispering, “I know you said you weren’t the white wedding gal for me, but I think you are.” She remembers not knowing whether to laugh or cry at that, so she did both and whispered an endless mantra of ‘yes’s against Vanessa’s lips until they got lost in each other, the little ring box and its contents left forgotten on the bedside table. She’d only put the ring on the next morning, a dumb smile on her face as she made her way downstairs to make her fiancée a cuppa.

 

It’s been a few weeks, and every time her eyes catch the ring, a wave of warmth spreads through her body, something she never really thought was real. She’s scoffed at people talking about true love before, and if anyone were to ask she probably still would. But Vanessa has made her believe maybe there is such a thing as soul mates. Maybe she doesn’t have to live the rest of her life running from it. So she needs to tell her. She needs to make sure Vanessa knows that she really, really is a white wedding kind of gal. If only for Vanessa.

 

She nods again, pushing herself up and making her way into the pub to make all the last minute preparations. Chas helps her put up a string of fairy lights, which she kind of thinks are super cheesy, but it’s cute and Vanessa loves cute. And Charity loves Vanessa. Before leaving, Chas gives her a tight hug and a wink, wishing her good luck, not that she really needs it. She plops herself down on the couch in the living room, her hand automatically reaching for the box in her pocket, pulling it out and going back to her fidgeting as she waits. It feels like forever, but it must only be a few minutes later when she hears Vanessa’s uncertain voice floating from the pub.

 

“Charity?”

 

She shoves the box into the pocket of her blazer and dashes off the couch and through the door behind the bar.

 

“Charity, are you in? Why’s there a ‘closed’ sign on –” Vanessa’s voice slows to a halt as she turns from closing the door and takes in the empty pub, and the single table set with two champagne glasses and a red rose, “the door?”

 

Charity grins, shoving her hands into her pockets, her right closing over the satin box as if to assure herself that it’s still where she put it only seconds ago.

 

“Hiya, babe. Thought I’d surprise ya. Ta-daa!”

 

Charity throws her hands up for effect, beaming at Vanessa who still hasn’t moved from the door, an amused smile on her face. It may be cheesy, but the look of pure adoration on Vanessa’s face as she looks up and spots the fairy lights makes it so much more than worth it.

 

When Vanessa still doesn’t move, Charity lets out a huff and strides over, reaching for her hand so she can guide her to the table. She pours them both a glass of champagne and lifts hers up for a toast, winking at Vanessa whose face is still painted with confusion as she lifts her glass to meet Charity’s. She really is too adorable.

 

“To my gorgeous fiancée.”

 

“And to mine,” Vanessa grins, clinking their glasses together, her eyes still searching Charity’s for the meaning of all this.

 

“Go on, sit down. There’s more,” Charity’s eyebrows raise on a smile, and she traipses into the kitchen to retrieve the dinner she’s had Marlon prepare. She’d considered cooking herself, but this was meant to be a pleasant surprise and Vanessa had probably had enough of her experiments in the kitchen to last a lifetime by now. When she gets back, Vanessa is sipping on her champagne, eyeing the pub slowly.

 

“I like the lights,” Vanessa smirks as Charity sets down their plates.

 

“Thought you would, you hopeless romantic” Charity winks, lifting Vanessa’s hand from the table and pressing a quick kiss on her knuckles. Vanessa’s eyes narrow, but the smile on her face never falters.

 

After dinner, and two different sets of dessert that Charity carries in from the kitchen with a smug smile on her face, Vanessa finishes her glass of wine in a long swig, her eyes locking with Charity’s over the table. Charity’s come to know this look, and even when Vanessa is slightly tipsy on wine, she knows it means she’s been caught. Vanessa reaches over the table, pushing a stray strand of hair behind Charity’s ear, eyes searching hers like a hawk.

 

“So, what’s all this really about?”

There’s really no point in putting it off, so Charity just grins guiltily, placing a kiss on Vanessa’s palm before lowering her hand gently back on the table.

“The thing is, I’m selfish –“

 

“What?”

 

“Just bear with me, babe. I’m selfish in the way that I really, really wanted to be the one who got to get down on one knee and do the whole big speech.”

 

Vanessa tilts her head to the side, a knowing smile on her face.

 

“But you,” Charity raises a finger in mock accusation, “went and beat me to it, didn’t you?”

 

Vanessa giggles at that, shrugging with feigned innocence on her face. Charity takes her hands then, and Vanessa grows serious under her steadfast gaze.

 

“Only I really, really need to give that speech, so I’m gonna do it anyway,” Charity’s voice has gone small, and Vanessa takes in a quick breath at the honesty that echoes in it. There are tears in her eyes now, and Charity pushes on before she loses her nerve.

 

“Ness, the past three years… I never thought I could – I never thought I’d have this. I gave up so long ago on anyone loving me for – for me, you know? And I know you know this, but I have to say it, at least once, because you should hear it. I love you with everything I have, and I don’t know how I got so lucky that someone like you loves me. No one’s ever been like you. No one’s ever taken everything I am and not thrown it back in my face. No – no one’s ever given me so much love without wanting something in return,” her eyes are brimming with tears, and Vanessa is squeezing her hands so tight they’re going numb, but she keeps going, “You’re by far the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and you make me better. Well, as good as someone like me gets.”

 

“Don’t say that,” Vanessa whispers through her tears, “I hate when you say that, you’re good, and lovely and –“

 

Charity presses a finger on Vanessa’s lips, and clears her throat, her eyes never leaving Vanessa’s.

 

“Shh, babe, it’s my speech.”

 

Vanessa lets out a tearful chuckle, looking down as Charity pulls the little box from her pocket and drops down on one knee. She pops the box open, and revels in the little gasp that leaves Vanessa’s lips.

 

“As I was saying, you make me a better person, which many would’ve deemed an impossible feat. You make me feel safe, and loved, and warm. And I promise to spend the rest of my life doing the same, as best I can. So, Vanessa Woodfield, will you do me the honour of marrying me back?”

“Yes, you silly woman,” Vanessa sniffles, wiping away the tears on her cheeks, and pulling Charity up into a wet kiss, “of course I will.”


	5. More than you want things, or memories (all the strings of the past)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning scene after the girlfriend conversation that we didn't get. I wanted it, so here we are. Yet another bit of fluff, because I'm a fool for these two.

Vanessa wakes to the sound of snores coming from the woman sprawled across her chest. She keeps her eyes closed, pressing a smiling kiss upon the head tucked safe under her chin. Another snore rumbles against her chest and she giggles a bit, slowly opening her eyes as she feels Charity snuggle closer in her sleep. She wraps her arms tighter around the woman and sighs, not wanting to move just yet. Charity feels warm, heavy with sleep in her arms, and Vanessa wants to keep it that way. Even if it’s just a few minutes before she has to move and they both have to face the day. It’s so good to just lay there in the hazy silence of Charity’s bedroom, their naked legs entwined, Charity’s curls that smell faintly of strawberries tickling her face. Her hand treks a slow journey up the slope of Charity’s back, fingers dancing leisurely upon warm skin, retracing their movements from the night before in slow motion.

 

It had been different this time, the way Charity led her up the stairs and stopped at the landing outside her bedroom door. The way she looked at Vanessa with the remnants of their conversation downstairs still shining in her eyes, tugging her closer by their interlocked fingers. The way Charity kissed her so tenderly that Vanessa felt like she was revered, treasured, every touch of her lips a promise she dare not utter. The way when they fell into bed, Charity’s eyes shined with not just lust, but with something that Vanessa dare not name yet. Something so honest that Vanessa felt it reverberate through her body, and burn when Charity’s hands moved on her skin, stoking the flame in the pit of her stomach. Something that almost slipped from her lips when she came under Charity’s mouth, only to be tuned into unintelligible syllables moaned into the darkness.

 

The memory makes her skin tingle, and Vanessa rolls her eyes at the way she can’t seem to get enough of Charity, not even when they’re still literally in bed together. There are moments when she feels like she can’t get close enough, even when she’s wrapped up in Charity. She drops another kiss on Charity’s hair and feels the woman stir and let out a small snuffle.

 

“Time’s it?”

 

Charity’s voice is raspy and muddled with sleep, and Vanessa can’t help the smile that spreads even wider on her face, or the wave of warmth that rolls over her body. She turns her head to check the alarm clock on the bedside table, her fingers absentmindedly playing with a curl of Charity’s hair.

  
“Half seven.”

 

Charity groans into her neck, and Vanessa feels her fumble against her chest until she manages to push herself up to lean on her elbows. She looms over Vanessa with eyes still blurry with slumber, the early morning sunlight catching her messy mane of curls. Vanessa doesn’t think she’ll ever tire of this view. The haze of sleep in dark green begins to fade, transforming into that look from last night that Vanessa can’t get enough of. The one that says I’m going nowhere. The one that whispers a promise of permanence.

 

“You look like a painting,” Vanessa whispers on a dare, sinking her fingers into the warmth of Charity’s hair where flecks of sunlight play among strands of gold.

 

“I look like a train wreck,” Charity snorts, pressing a quick kiss on Vanessa’s lips to quell any counter-argument she might offer, “But thanks, babe.”

Vanessa laughs against Charity’s lips, and drags her hands down her back to pull her even closer, their lips stumbling into another smiling kiss, and another. When Charity pulls back, her eyes are a deep green, a flicker of heat that Vanessa knows is mirrored in her own. Her eyes flick to the alarm clock, and then back to Vanessa’s, a sly smile spreading on her face.

 

“You’re going to be late for work.”

 

“Charity –“ The protest in Vanessa’s voice is half-assed at best, and when Charity’s lips meet hers again, she gives in without a second thought, moaning into the kiss as Charity rolls her hips slowly against hers.

 

“Let me keep you,” Charity whispers against Vanessa’s lips, the pause between her words enough to make Vanessa’s breath hitch in her throat, “just for a bit.”

 

And she does.


	6. These twiglet wrists will protect you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cain takes it upon himself to blame Vanessa for Lisa's heart attack. Charity is having none of it.

It’s ten minutes until the end of Charity’s shift and she swears time has frozen, because she must have been listening to Cain and Sam yapping on about the hospital and the investigation into Lisa’s spiked drink for years now. She’s managed to zone out of it for the most part, but it’s gotten to a point where simply the sound of Cain’s voice is enough to grate on her nerves. She leans against the bar and sighs, wondering how many times they’ve gone over the same rant about how something like this could happen, and she’s just about to let them hear it when the door swings open and salvation in the form of Vanessa Woodfield comes bursting in, a tentative smile thrown Charity’s way from across the pub. Her lips curve into a smile of their own accord, and she leans over the bar to meet Vanessa as she reaches up on her tiptoes to press a quick kiss on Charity’s waiting mouth. Charity hums, her eyes softening at the coy look in Vanessa’s eyes, the way her hand settles casually on Charity's. She isn’t quite sure how or when it happened, but it seems that these days the mere sight of Vanessa is enough to spark a warmth that spreads from her belly until it takes over all of her body, until she feels all soft and mushy. It should be intolerable, but she can’t help being lured into a dopey smile.

 

Her brief moment of reprieve is cut short by Cain’s words, like barbs thrown from the end of the bar.

 

“And here’s the one responsible for it all, you must be well proud of your girlfriend, Charity.”

 

Vanessa winces, her fingers tightening on Charity’s as they both turn to face two sets of cold eyes staring them down.

 

“Excuse me?” She hears her own voice go knife-sharp, eyes brimming with fire she’s ready to unleash at a second’s notice.

 

“You heard me. If it weren’t for her irresponsibility and obvious lack of judgment, Lisa would be fine.”

 

Charity’s muscles tense and she lets go of Vanessa’s hand, whipping her body around to face Cain fully.

 

“Charity, don’t—“

 

Vanessa’s silent plea falls on deaf ears and Charity squares her jaw, taking a measured step towards Cain.

 

“You better take that back,” she hisses, feeling Vanessa tense up beside her, “You better take that back this instant, Cain or I swear –“

 

“You swear what? We both know I’m right. What kind of vet leaves tranquilisers lying around to be picked up by teenagers? There are kids here!”

 

“Don’t you dare bring my kids into this, Cain.”

 

Charity’s eyes flick to Vanessa, a second too late as she watches blue eyes brimming with tears turning away from her as the vet rushes out of the pub, a soft sob escaping her lips before the door bangs closed behind her back. Charity's heart sinks, and she squeezes her eyes shut on the white hot rage shooting through her body.

 

“That does it, then. Get out.”

 

“What?” Cain throws his head back, eyes incredulous.

 

“You heard me. Out. You’re barred for a week.”

 

“You can’t bar me. I’m family!”

 

“Watch me,” she snarls, casting a look around the pub that has gone dead silent, “And if anyone else here has a problem with my girlfriend, now’s a great time to speak up and get a lifetime ban to my establishment.”

 

There’s a moment when nobody moves, even breathes, as Charity stares the whole pub down. And then, a slow murmur of agreement and a shake of heads goes through the crowd, even Sam joining in with a ‘no problem here’.

 

“That’s what I thought,” she says with a cold smile, halfway into her jacket as she rounds the bar.

 

“Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a prior commitment. Tell Chas I left all of,” she glances at the clock on the wall, “two minutes early and she should consider it lucky.”

 

Not for the first time, Charity thanks the stars that Tug Ghyll is only a few quick strides away, as she rushes down the street to bang on Vanessa’s door. That as well, not for the first time by a long shot. She hears a tiny snuffle from inside before the door slides open to reveal a blushing Vanessa wiping at her eyes with a soaked tissue.

 

“I might’ve overreacted,” Vanessa mumbles as she pulls Charity in by the hand, steering them to the couch where Charity spots a half-eaten bag of crisps tucked behind one of the cushions. It makes her smile, and she brushes a hand softly across Vanessa’s cheek to distract from her slight amusement.

 

“Well that makes two of us babe,” her thumb strokes along Vanessa’s cheekbone, and she sees the reluctance still lurking in the woman’s eyes and hates Cain again with a little more gusto.

 

“Hey, don’t think for a second that any of that utter garbage Cain spewed about you was true. He’s a right tosser, and he lashes out when he’s worried.”

 

“He’s not wrong though,” Vanessa sighs, dropping her head to her chest.

 

Charity slides her fingers down to Vanessa’s chin, tilting her face back up to meet her eyes, a move so familiar now that she briefly wonders why Vanessa always seems to be casting her eyes to the floor.

 

“Yes, he is. It was an accident. A horrible accident that no one is to blame for, okay? Well, maybe Gabby, but honestly that girl just breathes trouble.”

Vanessa’s lips tremble a bit, and then it’s there, the tiny smile that makes Charity’s chest glow like nothing else in the world has. She wants more of it, needs to see Vanessa smile and laugh the way she’s meant to. And she knows just the way.

 

“I barred Cain for a week, I’ll have you know,” Charity’s voice is smug as she grins at the tearful, yet smiling vet sitting across from her.

 

“You did that for me?”

 

“Oh, stop being all mushy and give us a kiss.”

 

Obedient as ever, Vanessa’s lips press to hers on a giggle, and Charity’s heart makes a little somersault in her chest. She tangles her fingers in Vanessa’s hair, dragging her closer so their chests rest against each other’s, and she swears their heartbeats match. It’s mushy, and soft, and nothing she’s used to at all, nothing she knows how to voice because the past has made her wary of this kind of vulnerability. But she lets a whispered, secret thought grow in the back of her mind. She doesn’t think there is much she wouldn’t do for Vanessa Woodfield.


	7. The one with violets in her lap (mostly goes astray)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vanessa and Charity at Paddy and Chas's wedding. I blame this one on Alex, 100%.

“ _You’re the one who saw me through, through it aa-all_ ,” Charity’s raspy voice drawls, pulling Vanessa closer to herself by the waist, her hips swaying out of time with the music.

 

Vanessa’s laugh bubbles up from somewhere deep inside, and she lets herself be spun around by fingers that barely keep their hold on her hand, and she thinks it probably can’t get much better than this. She spins back to Charity, her body melting into the woman she’s so deeply, irrevocably in love with. So much so that when Paddy and Chas shared their vows earlier in the day, all her stupid heart wanted to do was beat out of her chest and have her confessing it all in front of everyone, Paddy’s wedding day be damned. It’s been there for a while now, the inexplicable need to have everyone know just how much she craves, adores, loves Charity Dingle. She breathes in Charity’s perfume, a scent she’s so addicted to that she refuses to feel ashamed anymore, and smiles against her neck before pulling back and looking into deep green eyes that she knows better than she thinks anyone else has ever before.

 

“You sound terrible,” she giggles, pressing a quick kiss on Charity’s mouth that gasps against her lips, green eyes flashing with shock.

 

“How dare you, Woodfield! I’m doing amazing – _I’m everything I am, because you loved meeee_ —“

 

“Charity, babe, you’re drunk,” Vanessa laughs against Charity’s lips, locking her arms around Charity’s waist, barely keeping it together as she watches the drunken mess in front of her.

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Charity shakes her head a bit, the bunch of flowers in her hand shaking dangerously.

 

“That’s not the mic,” Vanessa laughs, nodding to the flowers between them, “you’re singing into Chas’s bouquet. Remember, the one you caught twenty minutes ago?”

 

Charity’s eyes flick between the bouquet and Vanessa, and then flutter around the hall to find the source of the karaoke track playing from the small stage across the dance floor.

 

“Who the hell is doing our song?”

 

Charity takes hold of Vanessa’s wrist, and hauls her towards the stage, and Vanessa almost lets her, before the last bit of sense takes over and she drags them to a halt in the middle of the dance floor, the music still blaring, one of Chas’s best friends singing even more out of tune than Charity was a moment ago. She pulls Charity into her arms, catching her hazy eyes, forcing her to pay attention even through her drunken state.

 

“Just sing for me,” she murmurs, brushing her lips on Charity’s chin, her hands stroking slowly along her spine, smiling at the pout that sneaks onto Charity’s face unbidden. Vanessa thinks she could live her whole life gazing at this woman – her theatre of expressions is an endless source of awe that she can’t help but be drawn into. She lifts a hand to Charity’s cheek, smoothing it slowly down and waiting until Charity’s eyes look up to find her own.

 

“Who even has karaoke at their wedding anyway?” Charity says petulantly, her hands sliding down Vanessa’s back until they cup her backside rashly, dragging a surprised moan from her lips. She rolls her eyes and slides Charity’s wandering hands upwards, to the more appropriate territory of her lower back, the smile on her face never fading.

 

“I guess I’ll add that to my list then.”

 

Charity’s head jerks back, her eyebrows knitting together in question.

 

“What list?”

 

“The ‘things not to have at my wedding to Charity Dingle’ list, what else?”

 

“Aw, babe,” Charity smirks indulgently, pulling Vanessa’s hips closer against hers, “you have a list?”

 

“I might,” Vanessa raises her eyebrows, leaning her head against Charity’s chest as they start swaying slowly to the next ballad that floats through the speakers.

 

“Might have to ask you some day then, I suppose.”

 

Charity’s voice is soft against her hair, and Vanessa leans closer, her whole body moulding into Charity’s as they move to the music, the smile on her face spreading wider as she imagines a forever in these arms. If she’s honest, it’s all she can dream of now, all she can hope for.

 

“Yeah, you might.”


End file.
